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Jokes, Jokes, Jokes, is what Joke Email is all about. JokeEmail is a joke list for all those people who blunder to work every Monday morning, needing some seriously funny jokes to get them laughing.
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Halloween Jokes
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- Yo Mama's so ugly, she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween.
- Yo Mama's so ugly, the government moved Halloween to her birthday.
- Yo mama so ugly for Halloween she trick or treats on the phone!
- Yo mama so ugly people go as her for Halloween.
- What do you call a person who puts poison in a person's corn flakes? - A cereal killer!
- Why did the vampire subscribe to Vogue? - He heard it had great circulation!!
The top 15 complaints of the modern day vampire :-
- 15) Grunge look makes it tough to tell living from the undead.
- 14) Nutrasweet or not, fat-free blood tastes like crap.
- 13) Hard to get a decent puncture with latex on your fangs.
- 12) Three Words: Daylight Savings Time
- 11) Thanks to all those Marilyn Manson fans, we just aren't taken seriously any more.
- 10) After 45 years of Communist rule, it's impossible to find clean, uncontaminated Transylvanian soil for bottom of coffin.
- 9) After 100 years of trying, still can't score with Elvira.
- 8) No bat is safe with Ozzy Ozbourne around.
- 7) With all those crucifix-wearing Madonna clones, junior highs are suddenly off-limits.
- 6) No warm blood for miles around DC.
- 5) Exhausted from all those Calvin Klein photo shoots.
- 4) Sick and tired of being mistaken for Keith Richards
- 3) Buxom wenches of old have been replaced by aerobicized "hardbodies."
- 2) Baboon heart makes everything taste gamey.
And the number 1 complaint of Modern-day Vampires:
- 1) No small task beating F. Lee Bailey to a warm body.
- What's a cold, evil candle called? - The wicked wick of the north.!
- Why wasn't the vampire working? - He was on his coffin break.!
- What's a ghoul's favorite breakfast cereal? - Rice Creepies.!
- What's a vampire's favorite feast? - Fangsgiving Day dinner.!
- What do little trees say on Halloween? - Twig or treat.!
- What do goblins mail home while on vacation? - Ghostcards.!
- Why did the vampire need mouthwash? - She had bat breath.!
- What's fast food to a vampire? - A guy with really high blood pressure!
- Why don't vamps like Red Cross? - They can't stand the competition!
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Please Note: No representation is made as to the authenticity of some of the above jokes. Some of them have been making the rounds of Internet humour and some are by no means original to the JokeEmail site.
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© T. Evans 1998-1999
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